although i feel like i could've used another go around of the first chakra guided meditation, i couldn't convince myself to do it unless i moved on to the second chakra. turns out that was even more challenging than the first. i did this one sitting up this time, and the house was a lot quieter so it was easier for me to focus.
so basically, i noticed a couple of things about the energy clearing in the second chakra - i need it. bad. but as i listened to wendy's voice talk me through breathing out all these negative thoughts and energies surrounding what seems to me at this point in my life, the most important aspects of my being, i got stuck. real stuck. i would hear her say something that i related to and instead of even attempting to let it go, i would get angry. i'd get that stirring feeling deep in my belly like something is terribly wrong. i would think about all of the things in my life she could possibly be referring to and i would completely detach from what i was trying to do.
i read the intro to her book and i remember the part where she mentions that it's going to get harder before it gets easier. it might be uncomfortable or even painful, but that's just part of the process. i feel like this challenge to try out three of the energy clearing guided meditations is excellent in that it's bringing me to face a lot of things that i ignore in my life.
the problem, or i guess i wouldn't call it a problem, but the greatest challenge for me is moving forward from those places of vulnerability. i have to sit with my eyes closed and meditate for like 10 minutes after the recordings just to bring myself back to a place of functioning. it brings out so many emotions that feel like they're just a big bowl of swirling energy, and i have to reign them back in before i can move forward with my day.
so, moral of the story - mixed feelings again about the chakra work. i don't know whether to move on to the third reading, or just keep working on numbers 1 & 2 for now. i guess i'll have to take some time to think about it.