Tuesday, February 8, 2011

don't call me a hipster

look up "hipster" on urbandictionary and you will find one of the following phrases used repetitively: young, artsy, independent, creative, intelligent, witty, effortless cool, urban bohemian, edge, reject culturally-ignorant mainstream, well educated, pioneers, socially minded, conformists, ironic, "image thing", elitist, flamboyant...and my personal favorite; "Absolutely a blast to be friends with, hell to be enemies of, hipsters are the most bi-polar of all the stereotypes when it comes to how they treat you."

i don't know how many of these categories i fall under, if any, but i have been called a hipster a time or two. and i still don't get it. have you seen this blog: http://www.latfh.com/? made by hipsters to ironically poke fun at their ironic hipster lifestyles. i don't look like these people. i don't wear underwear outside of my pants (greg giraldo - check it out.) but i digress...

i became vegetarian for two years when i made a bet with my dad that i couldn't go for 2 weeks without eating any meat. instead, i did it for two years. and while i'm not particularly strict to my diet in the last 6 months, since i moved to texas (explains a lot, trust me) i still just don't eat much meat. it grosses me out, and it is in my opinion (and the opinion of many scientists/nutritionists) that human bodies were not made to digest the flesh of other animals, or their by-products. i also don't drink milk. while i was vegetarian, i also didn't drink milk. i don't really like it any way so it seemed like a natural digression. however, i had a latte at the "we proudly brew starbucks" at my cheap-ass liberal arts school in wisconsin because they were out of soymilk, and i had an allergic reaction. broke out in hives, so badly that i look like my skin is radioactive in all of the pictures from bid day.

what else... oh. and my "fashion"? apparently it is the "cool thing to do" to not shower these days. my mother told me recently that one of her teacher friends at the private high school my brother attends told her that all the kids are smelly. in high school! and not like, because they had gym first period. it's because they don't shower. because apparently that's cool. now...here's the thing. i've been somewhat...lazy...about my showering habits since college. don't get me wrong, i shower regularly...most of the time. but i spent 2 weeks in jamaica bathing in a river. and when, the second week, the river got washed out because of all the rain and i couldn't take a bath, i just didn't. and i was fine. so...these days, i have perfectly functional indoor plumbing. however, there are days when i work from 7:30 am - 11:30 pm and the last thing i give a shit about is showering. so i just don't. and it's fine.

i've also been told i look like a "homeless person with expensive taste." that one gets me because i get it. sometimes. i wear a lot of layers and ripped jeans from some hip boutique on the gold coast. well, i used to. when i was in college my parents paid for all my shit so i bought whatever i wanted. now, less than a year later, i'm halfway through the month of february and can't pay my rent. but that's beside the point. i dress like i'm poor because i AM POOR. hahaa. ok? a waitress/youth worker hybrid doesn't make a lot of money, especially when one of her employers can't even PAY HER.

sorry. rant over. moving on...

i wear thick rimmed glasses because i have such a ridiculously high prescription that if i wear normal, wire-rimmed glasses they literally do not fit in the rims. i wear toms because they're comfortable and i hate wearing socks. it's like they were MADE for me. i like good music and i think top 40 radio stations ruin everything they play, but i also hate elitist music bastards who ruin my life for making me feel bad about the music i listen to. SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO LISTEN TO BLACK EYED PEAS. ok? just leave me to my solace.

so probably, in the end, i just sound like every other hipster bitch out there who takes 3 hours to make their hair look like they just rolled out of bed, and wears peace signs all over all her fucking shit but talks so much shit about everyone around her, or preaches about environmental sustainability but can't even recycle her fucking GREY GOOSE BOTTLE... i don't know.

and i don't give a shit. so just leave me alone.

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